"I never thought of it that way before"

I have a million and one other things that I should probably be doing right now, but I thought about this earlier today and it keeps popping in my head. So apparently I'm meant to relay this message to someone. Whether it rings true to you now, or it's something you remember, and helps you get through a hard time in the future. It's a lesson I have never forgotton.

Suprise, Suprise, it has something to do with the Oprah show :) A woman came on the show, her daughter had been brutally murdered years before and it was her wish to come on Oprah's show and speak to the audience and the world, to gain some sort of closure for her and her daughter. She had left everything in her daughter's room, the way it was before she had died. "My goal for the yeard 2000, is to tell my daughter's story on your show, and then let that go, and get on with my life...."

Her Mom mourned the loss of her daughter every day for 10 years, "For me, Lori died just as easily today as she died ten years ago..." As time passed, she felt like the loss of her daughter was a hole that got deeper and deeper.

JoAnne, the mother, wrote to the show with the hopes of getting help to end her obsession with the death of her daughter. She was stuck in grief and wanted to move on.

Oprah asked her, "What is it that you want to say?"

"That LoriAnn was a person, she did not deserve to be thrown away like a bag of trash, they threw her away in the river like a bag of trash. I just want to go to the highest mountain and scream and let people know the pain that will never go away because of this."

And Dr. Phil asked "Do you want it to go away? I mean, do you really want it to go away??"

She responded quietly through tears, "Yes, I do."

And he came back firmly, "I'm asking you now, can you at least entertain the fact, that how long you grieve, is not a reflection of how deeply you loved your daughter?"

"I believe I do."

"Can you accept, if you get closure on this, if you say, "I'm not going to be obsessed with this anymore", you are not betraying your daughter?"

"Yes I think I can."

"If she could talk to you right now, do you think she would say, "Mother, I want you to hurt every day for the rest of your life to prove that you loved me."

"Oh gosh no, she would be very angry at me over this."

"So it wouldn't be a betrayal. Maybe the betrayal is focusing on the day of her death, rather than celebrating the event of her life. She lived for 18 vibrant, wonderful years. And you focus on the day that she died."

"I never thought of it that way, I really never thought of it that way."

After that conversation was finished and they were ending the interview, the Mother said, through tears and what appeared to be a glow of newness and relief: "I thought after I had made this goal, that I could go home, I'm sorry, I was going to go home and take my life."

"But now you've changed your mind." -Oprah

"Oh yes, oh yes, I've changed my mind."

This story has always stuck with me, whether for the simple sense that I just love the story and it touches my heart, but also for the underlying message, that a lot of the way that things affect us in life, is the way we think about them. The meaning we give to a circumstance or a situation. She was holding onto the grief because she thought by doing that, she was honoring her daughter who was brutally murdered. But truly, once she changed her perspective, and realized that how she was choosing to behave, was exactly what her daughter would NOT have wanted, it changed her life. And she found a reason to live.

♥

Truly live, every. single. day.

"As you grow up you will learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You'll have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break other's hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old love did.  You'll cry because time is moving too fast, and you'll eventually lose somebody you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin."

This quote has left me feeling inspired to make sure I'm always enjoying and LIVING every single day.

Every day we are faced with choices, decisions, opportunities that whether big or small, could potentially change our lives forever. It's our every day choices that ultimately have gotten us to where we are now. I often find myself in situations where I'm not sure what the "right" thing to do. I'm not talking about moral dilemmas. I'm talking, friendships, relationships, simple daily opportunities. As I've "grown up" I've come to realize that the "right" thing to do, is whatever is going to make me happiest. The only person I need to impress is myself. If I impress others in the process, then great.

So today I challenge you, when an opportunity presents itself, think "What do I truly want?" Making decisions all about yourself may sound selfish, and there is certain times you must put others before yourself. However, if you are making decisions that make you happy, others will also be happier around you.

♥

How did I get so lucky??

I know I said I was going to try to write in this every day, and I really truly am going to get back in the groove, but life has been crazy busy and moving in a very positive direction, sooooo I'm finally feeling caught up :)

I decided I'm going to (finally) start writing in my journal in response to Oprah's Life Class questions. I wish I could watch the show every day but I can't so this is the next best thing.

The fourth question is what inspired me to write this blog post. It asked "What choices have you made that are genuine expressions of who you are and in alignment with what you want from life?" I knew even before I was done reading the question, what my answer would be. ITALY ♥

So why? Why was my choice to move to Italy for a semester, a genuine expression of who I am?

1. Travel - always has been and ALWAYS will be my most favorite thing to do, so given the opportunity to travel around not only Italy, but Europe, was beyond a dream come true.
2. Independence - I've always been quite independent... this was just another step.
3. Food - um, must I even explain this one? Especially with my LOVE for Italian food.
4. Friendship - I love my friends, and the friends I made in Italy are more than friends, they are sisters. And I could not have dreamt of meeting better girls. I also made a point to talk to people, as many people as I could (in as much Italian as I could, meaning, hardly any Italian, ha!) and create "friendships" or a common bond with Italians. When my friend Kristen came to visit, my gf's in Italy asked if I always talked to everyone that I passed..."Same girl, Different Country" :)
5. Learning - I love learning and I always want to be in the process of learning new things. For as long as I live. Living in a foreign country, you are ALWAYS learning.
6. Growth - This goes almost hand in hand with learning. As long as you learn, you are growing as a person. I've said it once (ok many times) and I'll say it again, it's not until you stop learning & growing, that you get old :)
7. Memories that will last a lifetime - I love having a good time, and making memories that I'll always remember. 5,000+ pictures later, and thousands more memories, Italy gave me some of the most amazing moments of my life, that I will never forget.


I seriously pray that all of you reading this, takes the time at some point in your life to go to Italy. I'm slightly biased I know, however, I traveled to many places in Europe, and Italy always felt like home. It's the most amazing and beautiful country and I cannot wait to go back. (If you would like a personal tour guide, call me!)

Now I ask the same question of you. What choices have you made that are genuine expressions of who you are and in alignment with what you want from life?

And just for fun...

Here are some of my FAVORITE memories from my four months living in Italy.

Learning to cook my FAVORITE Italian dish, Spaghetti Carbonara

'Jersey Shore' Night, this was one of our first nights out together!

A little further into my time there, all the essentials I forgot to pack. Thanks to my AMAZING big brother.

My Valentines Day pic of the Duomo and the Balloons look so perfect by it :)

Standing on the Ponte Vecchio. How is this real life??

A picture of the Arno and part of the Ponte Vecchio. It blows my mind how beautiful Florence is!

Well, can you tell they don't like their Prime Minister?? This was a big protest...I mean HUGE protest!

The guys at Gusta Pizza love us :)

My first of three trips to Roma. Ohhhh I loved Rome. SO much history.

Carnivale in Viareggio, SO fun. Confetti, vino and crazy costumes everywhere!

We went to Milan for Fashion Week. What did we do?? Fed the birds and ate Burger King :) ok and toured the city a bit to see all the amazinggggg stores!

My first trip to the top of the Duomo in Florence. Its 463 stairs, but the view is worth every single step!

our first family photo. Oh I just love these girls :)

Standing in Awe. It is SO much bigger and more beautiful than even I expected!

My last picture up by Piazzale Michelangelo. My heaven.

Last night out with the girls before heading back to the states. Wahhh!!!

The COOLEST gift EVER. My roomie made these keys for us in her jewelry making class. It was inspired by our key to our bedrooms, and the top part of the key is a fleur di lis which is a common symbol for Florence. It also has a '2' on it which was our apartment number and Via dei Tavolini which was our sweet little street's name!

Birthday dinner at Acqua al 2. Ah-maz-ing.

Seriously in love with Cinque Terre.

Girls will be Girls :) In Athens at the Olympic Stadium.

I love Italians so much. They are so dramatic. These kids looked straight out of an adult soap opera, and they were only five years old! The drama of kindergarten.........

This is in my cooking class. We learned to cook 3 Italian dishes a week and at the end we had to cook our favorite dish to be graded. We chose Pumpkin Risotto. Sounds a little weird, but it's SO delish!

Gravity bar in the Guinness Factory. Favorite part of Dublin!

On our way back from the market one morning. So so beautiful.

Literally my VERY first picture of Italy. Still on the plane :) I was already in love.

I may not be Italian by blood, but I'm Italian by heart. This city especially will ALWAYS hold a huge piece of my heart. Ahhh Firenze ♥